Friday 1 February 2013
Aiding And Abetting
The question, 'What has Dagwald Caedmeron - the Principal Primate of the Tree/Liberationist Alliance Administration - has been up to lately?' might easily have slipped into your mind from time to time. Such an enquiry hasn't entered my feline consciousness until recently; I've been more engrossed with my own world of hunting, gathering and defending my own realm. After all, Caddy Boy's been quite content to do what all politicos do, which is to steadfastly ignore the voices of his long suffering public - not to mention the more moderate and restrained tendencies within his own Tree Faction.
Ever since the Cad has set his face resolutely towards the deeply unpopular course of Free Votes And Cake For Homeopathic Prisoners (backed by the abundance of the Northumbrian taxpayer, of course) as well as foreign adventures in Mauritania with the Franks, he's managed to bathe himself in the fathomless depths of public hostility, resentment and biscuit. Oblivious to the contempt which now surrounds him like a thickly woven blanket, Caddy has once more launched his energies into other unpopular policies.
This time he's decided to give a Speech about the Northumbrian aid to the Poor and Uncivilised Foreigners. I should point out that this isn't anything new; for eons the Northumbrian Realm - out of the goodness of its heart - has seen fit to donate Holy Groats to the causes of the Needy in Other Lands from its tax-funded Treasury. This is only to be expected from a Christian kingdom, where the virtues of charity and compassion towards the poor and vulnerable have been cultivated and encouraged by the teachings of the Church. However, the reality is somewhat different, since most of the boundless resources of taxpayers' Holy Groats haven't ever reached the intended areas of need, but instead have ended up in the treasure chests of exotic brigands, thieves and other assorted Redistributionists, who've proceeded to spread the financial happiness liberally over their own pet projects, weaponry and luxurious dwellings while their own people have continued to languish under the cruel yoke of poverty and hardship.
This is an unpleasant reality which is accepted as fact by the majority of Northumbrians, who've constantly asked why so much aid is sent abroad to those who don't deserve it, while there are people under Caddy's own nose who are subsumed by the same woes.
Of course, the charitable side of this Cat could assume that Caddy Boy is suffering from chronic naivety, and that he fondly imagines that some poor farmer somewhere has received enough resources from Northumbrian Holy Groats to plant a new crop to support his family and to irrigate his thirsty fields. But I'm more inclined to assume that he wants to continue to grease the palms of the brigands so that he can curry favours from them at a later time. Perhaps he fancies a holiday in Mauritania..