Wed Sales In The Sunset

There has been some controversy rolling around the lovely Kingdom of Northumbria concerning the multicultural agenda being foisted upon the realm. This is nothing new: multitudes have come to these shores from other exotic lands for centuries, bringing their strange customs, odd languages, bizarre cookery and exotic religions with them. Indeed, the Roman occupants of these islands who preceded the Anglo-Saxons weren't for the most part Latins: they were a mixum-gatherum of Syrians, Greeks, North Africans and Persians, conscripted into the occupying armies. No country is an island unto itself - not even these beautiful islands upon which we live. Only fools and fantasists imagine that only Franks live on the other side of the Channel in Gaul, only Vikings live in Denmark and Norway - and only Anglo-Saxons and their Jutish and Danish cousins live here. 'Twas never thus.

But the rub comes when the powers that be decide - without reference to those they purport to represent - to allow unlimited access to these shores from the Great Unwashed Horde From Abroad. And when the aspiring immigrants employ ingenious methods to justify their permanent residence in this green and pleasant realm, things start to get interesting.

Romance is a significant reason for the melding of cultures here. There are various Vikings who have settled here, fallen in love with a Saxon girl and have merged into the culture. As long as they don't lecture the Saxons about the alleged superiority of their Norse gods and Eddas, don't eat too many magic mushrooms and go berserk, they make no waves. Even people with more distinctive features from Cathay, Araby or Mauritania have established themselves here and mixed with the locals. But some people are so desperate to get the welcoming nod from the Northumbrian State that they're prepared to go to extraordinary lengths to secure permission to stay here. So there have been some surprising marriages between people of disparate national, cultural, religious and linguistic traditions where either the wife or husband-to-be has been a Northumbrian citizen - and rats have been smelt.

The soothsayers recently highlighted the arrest, subsequent Moot appearance and imprisonment of a naughty priest who made it his business to perform marriage ceremonies (at a price, of course) exclusively for those wishing to gain a foothold onto Northumbrian soil. No questions asked. Pay up the groats, wear fancy coats, just say the oath, one name for both, sign on the line, everything's fine, say nothing more, walk out the door.

Business has therefore been booming - and the fact that the happy couples have quickly dispersed into their previous unmarried habits immediately following the official transaction has finally reached the attention of some zealous, sharp-witted investigators. The conclusion has been drawn that a lucrative scam has been going on to make immigration easier and quicker.

In view of this, the Holy Church has drawn up guidelines for priests in order to avoid this sort of thing becoming fashionable - and to prevent further damage to the reputation of the Church - and the institution of marriage. The priests are to check the following things:

Do the bride and the groom actually recognise each other when they come into the church?
If the bride comes in fashionably late, does she stop to ask anyone to point out who the groom is?
Do the happy couple know each other's names? Can they even pronounce them?
Do either or both of the couple look furtively and nervously from side to side?
Do either of them know where each other comes from?
Do they actually speak the same language and understand each other?

Good grief...

Fostering Lost To Posturing

...If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do? (Psalm 11:3)

As much as it grieves me to have to do so, I have to make a confession: I'm getting world-weary and fed up. I attribute my existential ennui to my excessive and morbid interest in the realms of human institutions and politics; there seems to be a flow of drivel coming from the Witangemot, its representatives and the soothsayers - and it's an unrelenting and toxic mixture of disinformation, dissimulation, hypocrisy and cant, with more than a fair share of random goalpost relocation. It's small wonder that humans are so apathetic about such things - unless, of course they become politicians themselves; when that happens, all sort of exciting vistas open up and the world suddenly takes on an unreal glow...

Let me give you a recent example of the cretinous world of human life in this lovely country of Northumbria. Some time ago a godly couple decided that they would like to extend their Christian charity and foster a foundling. (In our morally lax day and age, it's commonplace for loose-living young women to anonymously dump their newlyborn spawn onto the doorsteps of the Abbey or some church and expect some charitable soul to take the tiny mite in and give it a sound upbringing - if the poor bairn doesn't die first.) Since the time when the malevolent Northumbrian State was first involved, the whole process has been gradually and steadily politicised - in keeping with their idiotic social agendas. Because of this, the couple in question had been legally denied the right to foster the child they'd kindly taken to their home and hearts. Why? - Simply because they refused to compromise their Christian beliefs and principles and teach the child that it's perfectly natural and acceptable to lie, cheat, say that white is black, and wrong is right - and to pull wings off butterflies. (There are other issues that I won't go into - this is a family show...)

In other words, the Northumbrian State - ruled by our noble King Alhfrith and administered by the Witangemot government (headed up by Caedmeron - the Supreme Allied Commander-In-Chief and Chief Cock and Bluebottlewasher of the Tree/Liberationist Alliance factions) hates the values from the teachings of the Bible and the Holy Catholic Church and prefers to see generations of children grow up to be as twisted as he and his friends are. They must hate the Almighty as well. That's perilous ground to be on. You don't mess with Divinity - unless you don't give a rat's ass for your eternal soul...

Oh - and by the way - the child at the heart of this controversy is only an infant...

Caedmon is deeply unhappy about this, and so are the monks. So is the Abbess Hilda - she's furious: I could hear the explosion from a mile away. I reckon that the Bishop of Jarrow is going to get his ear bent imminently...

As for me, I'd much rather it were Caedmeron at the receiving end of the Abbess' verbal lashings. I'd love to help: I have a feline friend called Leo who would love to impart the fear of the Almighty into these secularising fools...

Holy Writ and All That

There seems to be a climate of interest in alternative Gospels. This has been taken up by the worthies Caeptain Ranty and Brother Gildas The Monk (on the Blessed St. Anna Raccoon's site). I've thrown in my two groats' worth for good measure.

As a cat, I'm not a trained theologian - although Caedmon has catechised me thoroughly and given me a pretty good all-round picture of Church History. I do have a basic understanding of Greek, which helps me to get under the skin of the translated New Testament scripture. The monks at the Abbey have been most helpful - especially Brother Wenham.

So - what about these other gospels that people have been talking so excitedly about recently? There are various writings which have been discovered since New Testament times. Some were pastoral letters (like the 'Shepherd of Hermas', the letter of Clement to the Corinthians and of Irenaeus to the Ephesians); these were written to serve a particular purpose. They were never intended to supplement Scripture - although they contain themes that are reflective of New Testament teaching. There were also many cults around that time which were influenced by the prevalent Greek religious and philosophical culture, along with the Babylonian mystery religions. These are referred to as the Gnostics. They wrote many of the manuscripts which are causing so much excitement at the moment; the substance of their writings at times contradicts the scriptural record and teachings. They were not embraced by the early church Fathers because they weren't regarded as genuine. I don't suppose that St. Thomas would have known anything about the gospel attributed to him!

There's a recognised spiritual principle borne out in history: where the genuine testimony appears, a counterfeit one also arrives to challenge it. For example, when Moses used the rod to authenticate to Pharaoh his God-given credentials and authority, Pharaoh's court mystics used another rod to replicate the miracles that had just been demonstrated. Where the testimony of the Son of God appears, a false testimony also arrives on the scene - in fact, many of them. And their purpose is to cause confusion and divert attention away from the genuine message. This happens because genuine Christianity is involved in a spiritual conflict which spills over into the human realm; there are spiritual forces at play. This is what the Apostle John refers to in one of his letters when he speaks of the many antichrists that have gone out into the world. (Anti in Greek means 'in place of' - or substitute.)

The Book of Enoch is quoted in scripture in the Letter of Jude, but St. Paul (in Acts 17) also quotes from the Greek poet Epimenedes. As far as I know, no one has suggested that his writings should also be incorporated into Scripture..!


Contrary to some fantastic ideas in circulation, the Church hasn't been covering up some esoteric secrets - although that idea tickles the fancy of some. Must go. There are mice to torment and catch!