Tuesday 25 September 2012

The Hardest Word

There's been an almighty furore going on in the lovely Kingdom of Northumbria in the last few days concerning the exchange of pleasantries between Anwynd the Rabid - a senior member of Dagwald Caedmeron's Administration and a costumed thug, whose constabulary duty was to guard the main gate to Caddy's residence. The politico wished to be admitted into the inner courts of the compound through the main entrance, but out of faithful devotion to his duty, the guard refused to allow him to use it, since he wasn't on horseback, and suggested that he use the side gate like everyone else. There followed some cheery banter, in which the politico called the sentry a mere unworthy serf, using very Anglo-Saxon Anglo-Saxon adjectives, nouns and gerunds: didn't he know that he was addressing one of his lords and masters? Passers-by - on hearing this exchange - were horrified at this display of high-minded arrogance, and subsequently a call went ringing through the Kingdom, demanding that Anwynd the Rabid resign immediately.

Since that unfortunate encounter between the Rabid and the lowly serf, Caddy Boy has publicly declared his support for Anwynd, and a grovelling, servile and suitably insincere apology was uttered by the latter for any offence that he might possibly have theoretically caused. Nevertheless, he denied saying those things that he was heard to have said, and emphatically stated that he didn't use those Anglo-Saxon parts of speech credited to him by the onlookers and various costumed thugs who'd also witnessed the spectacle.

The costumed thugs had - in line with their usual practice - had recorded verbatim the contents of the entire encounter - including the impolite adjectives, nouns and gerunds. However, there's a marked disparity between Anwynd's account and the one from the constabulary. Whose account has the most credence? With the Northumbrian public, the latter is accepted to be the definitive version of events. In the la-la land of the politicos, Caddy and his Alliance Administration have sided with the Rabid. Naturally, the Redistributionists - who half-heartedly pretend to be the friends and champions of the common man - have sided with the costumed thug. How terribly convenient.

It appears that Anwynd the Rabid is only sorry that the incident - which has damaged his non-existent credibility - took place in the first place. He isn't in the least part contrite for the expressions of bile and contempt that proceeded from his chops.

This Cat has placed him under a feline curse. Every cat in the Kingdom is now targeting his garden as a communal latrine in perpetuity. Since he produces the stuff in verbal form, he can have the more material manifestation of it as well..

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