Thursday 17 May 2012

Greece Monkey

Dagwald Caedmeron – the Sacred Primate, Pontifex Maximus and Dearly Beloved Leader of the Tree Faction and the Supreme Governor of the Tree/Liberationist Alliance Administration – has made a Momentous Declaration today in support of the debt-ridden, flea-bitten, poverty-stricken Kingdom of Greece.

In view of the current instability of that benighted realm – where the people can't decide which ruler to choose because they're too busy fighting each other or merely trying to survive on their ever-dwindling means – this intervention by the Northumbrian Glorious Prophet is very timely. I'm sure they're all now breathing a collective sigh of relief. Hooray for Caddy – this minute's mighty deliverer of the Holy Roman economy!

In his inspired address to his adoring, knuckle-dragging and window-licking acolytes, the holy man declared that the poor people of Greece must be supported by the Northumbrian people – along with those of the Frankish, Westphalian, Viking and other ethnic groupings which comprise that diverse ragtag ragbag of mutually hostile tribes referred to as the Holy Roman Empire (which, of course, is anything but holy, Roman or an empire).

In view of the seventy zillion billion trillions of Holy Groats which comprise the total debt of the Northumbrian Kingdom's economy – not to mention the aggregate debts of the other heathen kingdoms - this Cat is most intrigued. Since when has a despot of the Tree Faction – a political grouping traditionally pathologically responsible with money and in constant fear, dread and loathing of debt, decided that he can fight another kingdom's debt (and conquer it, to boot) with even more debt, insolvency and biscuit? Where did he get that notion from?

I suspect that Caddy Boy has been hanging round with Redistributionists, and has been taking secret counsel from Edweird the Milliner over a few magic mushrooms.

What these politicos don't seem to realise is that the hallucinogenic fungi don't actually enhance their perceptions and understanding at all. They turn them into monkeys.

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