Tuesday, 24 July 2012

Super Fish Morality

Things are looking up here in the lovely Kingdom of Northumbria! One glorious piece of news has emerged of late which is guaranteed to mitigate the rain-sodden tedium of the forthcoming Holy Roman Empire (which is neither holy, Roman nor an empire) Games. The soothsayers (bless their rough, woollen hose) have animatedly informed us that the politicos of the Witangemot (for the sake of the uninformed reader, that is the talking shop of the pompous and posturing parasitical class) have assumed a new responsibility in their role as Inspirers, Exemplars and Leaders. They've taken upon themselves the grave and weighty task of Moralists over the Great Unwashed Masses. Hooray!

Upon hearing that announcement, the entire Kingdom went into paroxysms of orchestrated joy and delight, and the bells throughout the Realm resounded with peals of unadulterated jubilation as Te Deums were offered in the churches. Everyone is so terribly pleased and excited at the prospect of being lectured and patronised by politicos who command the deference and respect of the Northumbrian people in degrees and quantities which are best expressed with a prefixed minus sign.

One such politico - a gawky princeling who languidly adorns the inner sanctum of the Great Cheese Dagwald Caedmeron's Alliance Administration has already begun to enthusiastically exercise this new ministry to the Poor and Unfortunate Underclasses. He's already stated ex cathedra that for the ordinary simple, hardworking fiefs of this realm to pay their tradesmen in pennies and Holy Groats in order to avoid the eager - and ever dissatisfied - grasp of the Tax Revenue collectors is Morally Repugnant. This Cat is most impressed. I've been sharpening my claws for several hours.

I'm particularly impressed that a politico - a mountebank, unpopular entertainer and a skilled, talented and dedicated expert in the fine art of Tax Avoidance for his friends - has decided that he's divinely qualified to lecture, harangue and hector the long-suffering Northumbrian public about the evils of saving their local carpenters and builders a few bob in untaxed revenue - an activity in which he is consummately accomplished to the tune of millions of Holy Groats.

But why should this Kitty be surprised? The big pike criminal syndicates don't like any competition from the tiddlers and sprats, do they?

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