A Letter To King Alhfrith

The things you have to do for your friends... This is a transcript of a letter I was asked by a fellow-creature to write on his behalf (he can't write, as he hasn't had the benefit of a Christian education):


Dear King Alhfrith,


I am writing to you to inform you that as yet, I am still not in receipt of an invitation to the forthcoming wedding of Prince Walthelm and the Lady Gytha.

I understand that this oversight may have escaped your notice (I appreciate that in your capacity as Supreme Monarch and Formaggio Grande you are occupied with matters of national importance), but I  certainly should be grateful if you would kindly rectify the matter - or at least delegate the task to some lesser being who is up to the job if you are too busy to attend to it personally.

For your information, I have no dietary preferences, so my presence at the festivities will afford no difficulty for the catering staff. I also give you my word that I will conduct myself with all the decorum and dignity that one should expect from a creature made by God.

I am looking forward to your earliest reply.

Your humble servant

Feaxede (Fox)

PS

I'm very partial to chicken carcasses - if this makes menu choices easier.

PPS

May I discreetly request a guided tour of the Royal Dump? - I would find it most interesting, and I would be eternally grateful.

F x