Thursday 22 September 2011

Full Of Sound And Fury..

The Liberationists' Annual Unfortunates' Outing And Picnic has now concluded the formal side of its business in the illicit camp of Rosedale Farm - although many hardcore Liberationists have remained on the site as a gesture of defiance against the local Costumed Thugs, who, with the blessing of the bishop and the local parishioners, want to forcibly evict them from the site. There are still substantial numbers of fly agaric-chewing Redistributionist hangers-on still present, who joined them to provide moral support and - incidentally - to help themselves to the spotty red mushrooms. Just for medicinal purposes, you understand.

Blaeck Clegge - the Great Didact-in-Chief and Guiding Light of the Liberationists - gave the valedictory speech yesterday, as is the custom at the end of such such gatherings. Before an assembled mob of adoring window-lickers, mushroom-chewers and assorted riff-raff of varying ages and beard length (as well as the men), he confidently addressed his minions. Some fainted before he even drew breath to speak. His Iberian wife - the Asturian pig farmer's daughter of noble birth - perspired and swooned in fluent Castilian. No one died.

What Blaeck Clegge spoke was pure poetry; he quoted extensively from passages of Beowulf; he also spoke of the swelling of the tides and the perilous rolling deep; he intoned about the little orphaned children, the lost baby rabbits and the stranded polar bears. There wasn't a dry eye in the house. Many of his sandal-shod audience were so overcome by the emotion of the speech - as well as the imagery that it conveyed - that they were either physically sick or were obliged to dash to the nearest latrine.

But what did he actually say? I asked various Liberationists who were there at the time. I also asked various lackeys of the soothsayers Guardy-Ann and Beeby See, who were in attendance so that they could take note of the proceedings in order to present a creatively edited, partially impartial report to their mistresses for the edification and information of the people.

There was a surprising consensus in the answers I received in response to my question; this only confirmed my own observed conclusion.

He said nothing. But they loved it, all the same.

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