Men Of Substance(s)

Your Cat has been puzzling over a recently disclosed mystery that has been occupying these feline synapses. It came to my attention the other day that a search through the hallowed halls and latrines of the Witangemot Moot hall - where all the meaningful Northumbrian political business is done - has revealed minuscule traces of magic mushrooms. Imagine my shock, horror and biscuit.

On hearing this from the soothsayers my thought processes started to work overtime. Who on earth could have been responsible for leaving these sinister traces behind?

Since the Moot hall is regularly visited by devout pilgrims from home and overseas, who (at considerable personal expense), out of reverence for their deity De-Mockery-Cy visit the holy shrine to hear the sacred hymns and arias bleated and brayed across the benches, and of course, to admire the impressive Saxon architecture. Could they be the ones who've surreptitiously secreted fly agaric into the place to enable them to enter into the spirit of the worship and holy rites? One might be tempted to subscribe to such an interpretation of these disturbing revelations; after all, there has to be some means by which the devotees can stimulate their minds while the numbing and hypnotic droning resounds across the debating chamber.

But the conclusion I've drawn is that while the aforementioned hypothesis could be valid, the more plausible reason for these incriminatory organic traces is the politicos themselves. After all, the greatest part of Redistributionist theology comes from shamans who derive their inspiration from such fungal methods. Furthermore, the development of Tree and Liberationist dogma in recent times has increasingly assumed the bizarre shape of the Redistributionist model; this could only have been achieved through the Sacred Shroom.

In the fulness of time, this Cat predicts that the entire edifice and the institutions within its walls will become a vast mushroom cult. I can hear the bongoes already...