Wednesday, 15 June 2011

Those Who Can't...

'Genius may have its limitations, but foolishness is not thus handicapped.' (Elbert Hubbard)

As the lumbering longboat of the Northumbrian Kingdom ploughs its weary way through the seas of history, yet more waves come a-crashing onto its decks, once more drenching the oarsmen of State. That's the metaphor over with...

Amid the ongoing, seething tide of idiocy, we're now confronted with yet another breaker to rock the boat. The Teachers Are Going On Strike against the Evil Coalition and their Malicious and Malevolent Cuts. Hooray for what little's left of Anglo-Saxon Education! I'm so pleased for them: this is a (monu)mental achievement.

The role of Teaching The Little Ones used to be administered by the Holy Church; faithful monks and nuns taught Anglo-Saxon boys and girls the skills of literacy and numeracy so that they could read the Holy Scripture and be instructed in the Ways Of Righteousness - and also to enable them to hold their own in the farms, the fields, the workshops, markets, smithies and the alehouses of the Kingdom. Education opens the mind. Or, at least it does so until the Northumbrian State gets its dirty paws on it. And that's exactly what happened. Jealous of the success of the Church's educational attainments, the State decided that it could go one better, and took upon itself the self-appointed role of Supreme Allied Educator-In-Chief, thus elbowing the Church out of the way and depriving it of its influence and its educational prowess.

Since the State pays for teaching staff out of the public purse through the burdens of excessive taxation, there have historically been Major Perks to the job (other retired military gentlemen have also been known to join their ranks.). Pedagogues - exhausted to the point of death after 6 hours of indoctrinating the Tiny Ones with the values of Redistributionist ethics (such as they are) - are permitted to go home and gloat at those remaining lesser members of the working population who still have several hours' worth of labour remaining - under the pretext of marking children's schoolwork. In actual fact, what they've been doing is to sit enchanted at the malodorous feet of Guardy-Ann - the pustule-faced weirdo soothsayer, imbibing every poisoned word that dribbles from her maniacal chops. As a consequence, many of them have become contaminated with the fly agaric-influenced drivel that propels the Redistributionist Faction.

Not only do the educators enjoy shorter working hours - for several thousand years they've successfully managed to persuade the public that their task is so hazardous to health and sanity that they require a Long Summer Holiday so that they can languish and agonise in the mead and ale houses of the Kingdom. All artisans and farm workers therefore hold Teachers and Politicians in equally high esteem.
But that's not all: they enjoy retirement benefits of humungous pensions - all paid for out of the taxation of the rest of the population. Bless.

But times have changed. The Kingdom is in the Deepest Financial Doo-doo, thanks to the window-licking stupidity of the Moneylenders. And guess who the poor mugs are, who have to pay for their folly and fund their expensive lifestyle choices? - The Northumbrian taxpayer. And to redress the imbalance of gazillions of groats, Cuts to the Public Purse have been Necessary. And the teachers are in the firing line, since they've enjoyed privileged status and special benefits above and beyond those of the ordinary day labourer. And they don't like the idea of having to face the same gritty realities as the rest of the working population. So they're going to strike.

They've chosen the Summer Holidays. The ale houses are in for a roaring trade... Sounds like a cheap win to me...

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