Wednesday 22 June 2011

Battle Lines In The Playground

Everyone is so excited about the forthcoming strike by the teachers here in the lovely land of Northumbria. So much so, I saw three seagulls do a synchronised splatdrop out of sheer joy and elation. It was a wondrous sight to behold.

In fact, the loyal subjects of ancient King Alhfrith and his potty-mouthed Queen Hillida - or more to the point, the subjects of the power-crazed Emperor Jose Borracho - Chief Global Executive Officer of the Holy Roman Empire (which is neither holy, Roman nor an empire) and his dimwitted henchman Hermit Rumphole - are so excited about supporting the teachers in their bid to continue their cosseted lifestyles and their tax-funded gold-plated pensions, they're willing to make any sacrifice to give them their heartfelt support. There's no amount of hardship and deprivation that the ordinary people won't endure in order to coddle the beloved teachers. It's very touching. Pass the mushrooms, Guardy-Ann.

As for me - I know I'm only a cat, and my creaturely opinion counts for nothing, but I can't help thinking that those teachers who are up for a punch-up - and the fabulously wealthy armchair generals who lead and inspire them by remote control - are nothing more than magic mushroom-fuelled idiots who are burdened with an over-exalted view of their significance in the Universe. Perhaps I'm wrong - but if every human being in this lovely realm were a teacher, who would pay their wages? Even a mere cat knows that the people who make things and trade them are the ones who put groats in the treasure chest and oats on the table of the Kingdom.

I think they should stop chewing the fungi for a bit, ignore Guardy-Ann and her equally worthless poxy mates and their vitriolic outpourings, lie down an a darkened room and try to think - although admittedly it's not a trendy pursuit that many people favour these days. If they don't reconsider the folly of their ways, and this strike proceeds, the public are soon going to cotton on to the fact that these pedagogues - and their plutocratic rear admirals - are having a laugh at their expense. Then things will get ugly - especially when they realise that their children are no less ignorant without the services of their striking educators...

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