Tuesday 4 October 2011

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

The Tree Faction Annual Unfortunates' Outing and Picnic is well under way, and this Cat is finding the event most entertaining. I'm only sorry that Feaxede the Fox isn't here to share in the fun, but I have to respect his instinct for self-preservation. I'm having to be circumspect, myself, as some of the Tree ladies seem to have a liking for the pelts of animals..

The outstanding entertainment of the day was a stand-up routine by the Tree Faction's most charismatic politico-alderman-comedian, Beoris the Thatchhead. Always a popular character in Tree circles, Beoris captivated his audience of window-lickers, knuckle-draggers and blue-rinsed, horse-faced types by opening his mouth and issuing forth a stream of audible sounds. I believe these were intelligible. In response, the audience laughed, cried, clapped their hands and stamped. This fellow certainly has a mesmeric hold upon his hearers..

Dagwald Caedmeron - the Supreme Allied Commander-in-Chief and Chief Cock and Bluebottle-Washer of the Tree Faction - sat in the audience, witnessing the performance with a body language that suggested extreme discomfort. I suspect he was suffering from wind; his smiles also looked somewhat artificial. I do hope he manages to release his mounting internal pressure - but I certainly don't want to be around when it happens...

But when I made gave some thought to the content of Beoris' oration, I realised that it had all the characteristics of a typical fantasy-fuelled political diatribe from any shade of opinion. He spoke of an imaginary past, where everyone loved each other, and helped each other out; he intoned about restoring a sense of village community akin to that of Adam in the Garden of Eden. I was puzzled at that, since the only company that Adam had in that arboretum was his wife.. but never mind. Beoris was anxious to build Northumbria's green and pleasant land, and to improve the roads so that horse-drawn carts can travel more efficiently in the course of their commercial business. He pontificated about looting, riotous thugs, and Law and Order.

I suspect that his speech was so popular because there were magic mushrooms in the nibbles that accompanied the drinks.. But everyone's having a wonderful time, and far be it from me to spoil it for them and tell them that they're going to wake up soon..

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